Random Beyblade Stories 2: Kai in Lingerie
by Lady Harpy Dilandel
Summary: Just a bunch of random and hilarious escapades that the Bladebreakers got themselves into ;) Story 2: Max and Tyson are trying to figure out how the Macarena REALLY goes, and Kai tries to convince Rei just how sexy he still is ;) R&R!
1. Story 1: Soups Up, Yo!

"Weee!" Harpie starts off the story in a very pointless way, "Hey it's another one of those random stories that don't make any sense :D Hehe… and it's about… SOUP!"

"What the fuck?" Kai states.

Tyson smiles, "I like soup"

Harpie says flatly, "Yeah well in this story you don't know what it is."

Tyson gives upset and astonished look, "Me don't know soup?" he sniffles, "But Tyson know ALL foods!" begins to cry and takes out his degree from one of his jean pockets, who the hell keeps something as important as a degree in their clothing? "I have a PH. E!"

Rei tries to prove Tyson wrong, "Don't you mean a PH.D?"

Tyson takes out his newspaper, "Quiet kitty boy!" he smacks Rei with the newspaper, "Professors said that they have never seen such knowledge of food before, so they created a new degree, and gave it to me! Hehe, get it? Degree and me? IT RHYMES!"

"K, someone needs to get laid" Max rolls his eyes.

Harpie gives Tyson a weird look, "Okay, anyways, on with the story! R/R! Oh and, I do not own Beyblade, Campbells soup, Whiskas, Mr. Clean, and those monkeys with symbols, you know what I'm talking about."

* * *

Rei's stomach begins to growl, 

"Soo… hungry… must get… food" he mopes.

Tyson overhears Rei, "Wow you're hungry too? Oh my god, Rei! We must be twins!"

"What?" Max yells in shock, he's nearly in tears :'(, "But Tyson, you told me last time that I was your twin!"

"Quiet Constantly-on-drugs boy!" Says Tyson while smacking Max with a newspaper.

"Ouch!" He shrieks. "Wah! I want a divorce Tyson!"

"Oh yeah baby…" a sound comes from the corner. Max and Tyson look at Kai.

"Kai, are you reading playboy?" asks Tyson.

Kai looks at the two Bladebreakers nervously. "Eh what… Umm…" he sweats, "No I'm not, YOU are! Filth dirty bastard! PERVERT!"

Kai throws the magazine at Tyson and quickly jumps out of a window.

Max smiles, "Hehe, I like Kai :)"

Just then, a loud ding is heard coming from the kitchen.

"What was that?" Tyson wonders.

Rei comes out of the kitchen and into the living room, carrying a hot bowl of soup. "Oh nothing, that was just my soup in the microwave".

Tyson gives Rei a confused look, like this "o.O"

"What, you want some?" Rei offers.

"What the hell is soup?"

"You don't know what soup is?" Max asks surprisingly.

All of a sudden, the person who created Campbell's Soup (sorry if I spelt that wrong) appears. He slaps Tyson across the face, "Shame on you! You're a disgrace to all food lovers!" He then takes Tyson's Food University degree and rips it into tiny pieces. Tyson nearly has a breakdown.

"My GOD! My degree! That took me a whole day at F.U to get! You sick sick person!" He kicks the Campbell's guy and sends him flying out of the window. Kai then appears.

"Hey I'm back from Jamaica!"

"Whoa, where'd you come from?" asks Tyson.

Rei gives Kai a weird look. "Why the hell did you go to Jamaica?"

Kai slaps both Rei and Tyson. "Don't ask so many questions!"

"Yes Kai…" answer Rei and Tyson in pain. Rei then finally begins to nibble on his soup, but then Tyson grabs it away from him.

"Yo dude! You can only eat food, and that's NOT food!"

"Tyson, this is soup, soup is a type of food -.-"

"Uh Rei, I think I KNOW food when I see it, I mean, I DID graduate from F.U!"

Max begins to pick up the tiny pieces of Tyson's diploma off the ground.

"Hey… this isn't a food degree!"

"Yeah it is!"

"NO! It's a degree for… CLOWN COLLEGE! Congrats Tyson, you're a professional clown!"

"SAY WHAT?" exclaims Tyson in disbelief.

"OOOOOOOH!" Max shrieks, "Yay! You can be the clown at my birthday party then! All of you guys are invited by the way!"

"Then what the hell does F.U stand for?" asks Tyson.

"I think it stands for Freak University. You know, ClownsFreaks, get it?" answers Kai.

"My god… this is so hurting yo!"

"Weird how a pig like you could eat so much, and not know what soup is." Rei comments.

"You don't know what soup is?" Kai's stunned, "GOD! You idiot… IDIOT!"

The Campbell's guy reappears. "Ugh, I know isn't he?"

Tyson looks irritated. "Err… I thought I kicked you out!" He said as he kicked the Campbell's guy out of the window.

Max turns to Tyson, "What kind of food have you been eating then, Tyson?"

"You know, what every other growing kid eats; pencil shavings, plutonium, and that Whiskas stuff. Have no idea why they have a cat on there? OH! And for desert, it's Mr. Clean all the way!"

Kai smack his forehead, "Tyson you imbecile! That's not food!"

"Yeah," states Max, "Pencil shavings are… well… pencil shavings, but they do not fall into the category of god damn food!"

Rei nods, "And plutonium is a type of element, you can find it on the Periodic Table of-"

"Dude, no one cares" Kai interrupts Rei.

"Jeez Kai, you could at least be supportive once in a while"

"Hey, I'm Kai, what do you expect? Anyways, and Mr. Clean is not a desert either… it's a fucking cleaning detergent. -.-"

Tyson puts his finger on his lip in a confused way, "o.O Oh… No wonder my doctors said I have cancer!"

Everyone hugs Tyson after hearing the awful news. Tyson then burst out laughing

"Ahahahahaha, you stupid cunts, I was just playing with you. The fuck I got cancer!"

Max roles his eyes, "Very funny genius"

"Haha, I know! Wait hold up…. Kai, did you just… did you just… did you just hug me?"

Everyone looks at Kai's mortified face.

"O.O I… I… my god I don't know…"

People back away from Kai. Kai breaks into tears.

He sniffs twice, "You guys backing away from me is so hurtful… I, emotionless Kai, have feeling to you know?"

Rei mumbles, "Yes, cause that makes sense… ANYWAYS" begins to speak in normal tone "so Tyson, soup?"

"Oh yeah! Lemme try that stuff,"

Tyson tries the soup and gives a look of absolute astonishment.

"WOAH! That's some crazy shit man! It's like food… but not food… And like a drink… but not a drink… I'll call it FRINK!"

Max jumps around and claps his hands spontaneously like one of those toy monkeys with symbols.

"YAY! I like Frink!"

Kai and Rei glance at each other, "Frink?"

Kai reminds Tyson, "Tyson, it's called soup -.-"

Tyson smack Kai with a newspaper, "Quiet cold-heartless-secretly-turns-me-on-boy!"

Kai's eyes begin to water and has a baby-ish look on his face,

"Ouch! WAAAH! That hurt Tyson!"

Tyson laughs madly and jumps on the couch and points at everyone,

"Mwahahahaha… ALL OF YOU ARE MY BITCHES NOW!"

Rei raises one of his eyebrows, "Okay this is getting retarded, when the hell does this gay ass story end?"

* * *

Harpie smiles, "Ehehe… done :)"

Kai gives a standing ovation and claps his hands, "WOW! That was the most GAYEST story I have ever read in my LIFE!"

Maxy smiles, "Hehe, I liked it :)"

Rei shakes his head in disgust, "Why do I swear so much? What if the children in my village read this?"

"Whoa, people in you village can actually READ? O.O" Tyson remarks.

"Yes…" Harpie begins, "My random soup story, very interesting. More random stories to come later! I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! Mr. Clean and plutonium for all!"

Tyson shouts, "Yay!"


	2. Story 2: The Macarena and Kai in Lingeri...

"HELLO!" Harpy waves.

"Hi!" Max replies.

Harpy runs around, "Wee… another random story!"

Kai slaps and shakes his forehead, "God no…"

Harpy nudges Kai, "Kai, you know you secretly like them."

"Hn, yeah right"

Rei is down on his knees with his fists clenched together, "PLEASE let this be appropriate Harpy! Please! Think of the children!"

Harpy sweat drops, "God dammit Rei, you live in a welfare village. LIKE your people would have enough money to afford computers and the internet" she rolled her eyes.

"… You got a point there"

"Mm, yes of course. Now, Tyson will have the honor of doing the disclaimer"

"What?" Tyson asks surprisingly "Uh, I don't think so…"

"You will for FRINK!"

"Oh… can't resist… must do it… for Frink!"

Kai laughs, "This should be good…"

Tyson sighs, "Harpy Dilandel does not own Beyblade or any of the characters in it" -.-

The Bladebreakers fall over laughing.

"Hehe… ok, on with the story!"

* * *

Max marches around singing a song no ones heard of.

"Nanananana HEY! Nanananana HEY! Nanananana HEY! And so I make the rabbits fly!"

"Hey I love that song!" Tyson says happily.

"I know! Isn't it great? I just LOVE the MACRENA!"

Tyson and Max start dancing.

Rei walks in on them dancing and gives a weird look.

"What? That's not the Macarena!"

Kai, who's sitting in the corner again, stares seductively at Max and Tyson dancing.

He whispers, "Mwahahahha… Yes, dance my pretties, dance for your Kai… now, TAKE IT ALL OFF!"

Max and Tyson turn to Kai, Tyson says "Huh? What did you say Kai?"

Kai sweats, "Oh… uh… I said… that um… jeez, uh… did you know cows could, uh, fly?"

"o.O Really?" Max slaps both of his cheeks, "Wow rabbits AND cows… there's SOOO much I don't know about the world!"

"Yes well they can, so deal with it."

Rei shakes his head, "What happened to you Kai? You used to be sexy"

"Hey, I'm still sexy!"

"No you're not…"

"Pft, whatever, I bet you that if I put on some sexy lingerie, you'd be all over me!"

"Fine you're on!" Rei slaps Kai's ass, "That was for good luck"

Some unknown audience chatters "Ooooh!"

Kai blushes, "Oh Rei… you animal!"

"Meow" he says. Rei then coughs up a real fur ball and Kai gags. "Gross!"

Max runs around screaming randomly, "Humans are slippers! Humans are slippers!"

Tysonand Rei give each other a weird look as Kai goes into the bedroom to change. Tyson continues doing the Macarena.

Rei gets annoyed, "Arg, not only are you doing the Macarena wrong, but you're dancing to the wrong song!"

Tyson stops dancing, "How does the Macarena go then?"

"It-"

Rei gets cut off by Max, "OOOOH! I KNOW! It goes like this: And I said HEY! (Hey) What a wonderful kind of day! When we learn to work and play! And get along with each other…"

Rei gets mad, "_No!_ That's the Arthur theme song!"

Max puts his index finger to his lip in confusion, "o.O Hey, it's still a good song!"

"Don't the Spice Girls sing the Macarena?" Tyson asked with his hands on his hips.

Max screams at Tyson, "NO! Barney does!"

"Or doesn't Britney Spears sing that song?" Tyson asks again.

Rei's mouth opens in disgust, "HEY! Britney Spears does not sing CRAP like that!"

"Yes she does," Tyson defends himself, "Her and her 'yeah yeah's'"

Max blinks, "Britney Spears is a her? o.O" (Absolutely no offense to Britney Spears fans! Remember it's just a humor fic!)

Rei stands in a girly pose, "Britney's like, way up there, while you're like… way down there sister!"

Tyson also stands in a girl pose and does who knows what with his hands, "Oh don't go there girl friend!"

The room goes silent. Crickets are heard chirping.

Rei finally breaks the silence, "Okay, what the fuck was that?"

"Dude, were we chicks a minute ago?"

"Tyson just shut up and never speak of it again."

"Good idea."

Max once again, continues to run around the room screaming out random things, "PUPPIES! I WANT BIG PINK PUPPIES!"

Rei gets fed up, "Okay, where are Max's pills?"

Tyson takes Max's pills out of his right jean pocket, "Have em here, I never leave them anywhere."

Tyson gives Max a pill.

Max examines the pill curiously, "o.O… candy?"

Rei rolls his eyes, "Yes Maximus, that is candy thy Tyson holds -.-"

Tyson looks at Rei weirdly, "You're such a queer sometimes Rei"

"Sorry, couldn't resist"

Max sticks out his tongue in disgust, "Eww, I hate candy!"

Both Tyson and Rei are shocked, "… What, say that again?" Tyson asks.

"Candy icky!"

"What the hell Max," says Tyson slightly raising his voice, "You LIKE candy"

"Candy makes Max FAT, Max on candy free diet!"

Before Rei was going to burst, he took the pills from Tyson and began to scream at Max, "TAKE THE GOD DAMN PILLS YOU THING ON EVERY DRUG IMAGINABLE!"

"EEK!" Max screeches. Rei violently chases Max knocking everything in his way down.

Tyson somehow ends up in a cheerleading outfit with pompoms and is heard cheering in the background.

"Rei! Rei! He's our half cat half man! If he can't do it, Kai sure can!"

Rei's eyes go red and he turns into a cat demon.

"EAT IT!" He growled.

Rei forced the pills down Max's throat until he finally swallowed them.

"HEEEEY!" Max says in an annoyed tone, "Whoa…" his eyes begin to roll, "Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little la-" he faints.

Rei jumps on the couch and acts crazy.

"YES! MWAHAHAHA! NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE RATH OF REI KON! NO ONE I TELL YA!"

Tyson sweat drops.

Rei looks at Tyson and gives him a dirty look, "Shut up chunky!"

Just then, a seductive and womanly voice is heard emanating through the slightly open bedroom door. A muscular leg is seen dangling at the threshold.

"Hey boys… ;)"

Kai comes out of the room wearing sexy red lingerie and all of a sudden, "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" begins to play. Rei couldn't help but put on a shocked look and drool over the sight of Kai being half naked. Tyson wasn't turned even a bit.

"AHHH! X.X MY EYES! What the hell is that?"

Max lifts his head up off the floor, "WOW! Free porn from the comfort of my own home! I'm SOOO happy :D"

Tyson looks over at Max, realizing that he's conscious again, "What? You're supposed to be asleep Max! If I wasn't blinded by the sight of Kai in his grandpa's lingerie, I would get you!"

Rei blushed and posed like a horny school girl, "Oh Kai… I was wrong about you. You've still got it, you sex god ;)"

"WOOH!" Max gets out his mini flags, "Yeah Kai! TAKE IT OFF!"

Rei turns psycho, "Yes… and dance my monkey! DANCE!"

"Whatever makes you happy, stud…" Kai winked and nudged at Rei. He began to do the REAL Macarena to the REAL Macarena song.

"Oh! Is that the Macarena song?" Tyson asked half screaming.

"And is that how the Macarena dance goes?" Max asked curiously.

Rei ignored the two boys and kept drooling and staring at Kai, "Uh… Oh yeah baby…"

"Rei?" Tyson asked

"Shake it baby… c'mon… shake it!"

Max and Tyson send each other a look that resembles a lot like this : o.O

"Oh what?" Rei comes back to semi-reality, "Yeah sure, just shut up"

"Oh goody goody gum drops!" Max claps his hands at a rapid speed, like those monkeys with symbols!

"Let's ALL do the Macarena!" Tyson comes up with the brilliant idea. Everyone happily agrees and begins to dance, dance, dance the night away, doing the Macarena! Wouldn't that be a site!

* * *

Harpy falls over laughing, "I LOVE that story!"

Tyson joins in, "Hahahahahahahaha… Kai in lingerie, that's priceless, O.O EWW! Must get… sick image… out…of… head!"

Rei collapses on the floor and covers his face with his hands, balling his eyes out, "Oh the children!"

"Hehe… lingerie… that's a funny word!" Max inserts a random comment.

Kai feels like he's going to die any second now, "O.O You have to be kidding me… how could you humiliate me like this? I… I … I can never show my face in public again!"

Harpy cocks a brow at everyone, "Whoa… everyone's so emotional, like a bunch of pregnant women! Chill out, it's just a story, remember, I DON'T own Beyblade."

"Amen" Kai and Rei crucify themselves and continue to cry.

"Wow, there's so much I don't know about guys… well, till next random story people! Review please if you don't mind!"

Tyson calms his laughter a bit, "Kai in lingerie… oh my god! It's so wrong yet suits that bastard so much at the same time!"


End file.
